It has been 8 months since my dad got sick, c-diff infection wrecked his system..8 months of me caring for him as the infection destroyed his immune system so its like he is catching all colds.  I am stuck making his meals, taking them to him to make sure he eats, cleaning up dishes, daily household cleaning, shopping, medical treatments, chaueffer ,etc..

It’s hard enough when you yourself are disabled but when a loved one to as well it makes your battle that much harder.

By the time I am done helping him I have no energy to help  myself.

I have no time to make myself healthy and elaborately delicious meals.  My eating schedule is way off and the stress, not good for any emotional eater.

Rarely do I have time for myself, like today is a rarity so I decided to just blog as I hadn’t done so in so long.

At first I thought my dad would bounce back but 8 months later, I am beyond burnt out and losing faith.   Secretly I still hold hope that the warmer weather coming with also bring a renewed spirit and improve his health.

I am shocked in reality I have not gained tons of weight and that I am actually just steadily sailing around the same number, considering how out of my lifestyle that I have gone.  I still eat healthy just more of my meals are actually just processed snacks such as protein bars.  Protein bars are good but not for everytime you are hungry in a day.

My dad is the only family member I have left and I love him deeply but I am loosing myself by being the person who does EVEYTHING.

BTW if you think my eating and sleep schedules are shifted and I am struggling for time just to blog, think about how hard it is for this writer to get their story completed.


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