It is sad that this happens in life, Bullying.  Bullying is ABUSE and is unacceptable.

As bullying has lasting effects from childhood into adulthood..  It can cause a person to change who they are.  It can make a victim feel depressed, anxious, paranoid, helpless, etc.

Growing up was bullied everyday at school.  I reached out to teachers and counselors at school asking for help to make it stop and I was revictimized by them.  They said things like; “Boys will be boys”, “maybe he just likes you” and my favorite, “Are you sure you are not enjoying all the attention?”.

My bullying began in 4th grade.  As I found no help I began to just be quiet and the abuse got worse.  So much worse that I was sexually being attacked and called derogatory names. But I kept my mouth shut as no one was willing to help me.  I fought back when I could, but that only caused me to be abused more.

In my mind all I kept saying was when I graduated this will all finally stop.  I will be away from these creeps.

It did stop when I graduated but mentally it was still going on, I was afraid to trust anyone and during this whole ordeal food was my comfort, well actually it began as a defense as I thought if I was heavier these guys would leave alone.  I lived within this person I had built myself.

When I went away to college, slowly I began losing weight and started to slowly trust people.  It was a long process and actually is still a work in progress.

I was looking for a place to fit in, to be accepted.  So in my search I joined a Christian Campus group, but I faked belonging.  My inner beliefs were so different then theirs and that group was very clicky, which when you have clicks that is a way of bullying.  EVERYONE should be accepted, it should be one big happy group, like a family.

So continued my search, my search ended years later when I found someone who introduced me to Islam.  Islam followed my beliefs and how I felt in my heart.  I continued learning more about Islam.  I wanted to learn so much and I was so happy.  So I finally made the commitment and said my Shahada.  I felt so blessed, so embraced, so accepted until a fellow sister told me I was nothing but white trash, I was ugly and a fat lazy ass bitch.  I was in shock.  I did not expect that from a fellow sister, especially as I was a newbie still looking for mentors to help me.

My religion toook a back seat as I was like how can I be treated so cruelly by a fellow follower. After going through a period of depression and anxiety, I resumed my Islamic learning about a month later and 4 years later I still consider myself a newbie as I am still learning, everyone constantly is learning,  not one person knows it all.

I lost alot of weight, over, 100 pounds of weight over the years, yet still I was being called fat and lazy.  SMH, had they only knew my battles and struggles I had conquered.

When I became disabled then I got different remarks made at and about me.  That I was not exercising enough, I was taking it, etc.

You try not to let the comments effect you, but they do. You are afraid to go out, afraid to have friends as you can’t trust people and you try to change who you are thinking they are right, even though they are something?  When a person bullies you then that means there is something wrong with that person who is doing the bullying not with you the victim.   

My friend is so thin, she always has been and everyone is quick to label her aneroxic, she definitely is not. Labels hurt as they do not justly show people the great person we truly are. We all have our own story of struggles and battles that change us.

 But yet in reality, do you think a bully would care about your struggles?  Probably not as their main purpose is to hurt others for the sole purpose to make themselves feel better about who they, themselves are.  By being a bully, it stops a person from getting to know about you; as you are now labeled a bully(which labeling in its own right is a form of bullying), a bully is all people know about you.

Bullies exist everywhere, there are wolves in sheeps clothing.  There are movements to try and fight these issues, but I am not sure how efective these movements are as many people are making negative comments on them and mocking the efforts of these groups.

Truthully common sense should kick in so we do not need to spend thousands of dollars on programs and movements to remind us of such.

But what we can do is not a movement, it is called being human.  Be kind to one another, be a support to a neighbor in need without expecting something in return.  Share a laugh, a smile, a friendly greeting.  Befriend someone in need of a friend.  Hold the door open for an elderly or disabled person so that they may be able to enter or exit. Teach your children by example of how to be a kind, considerate, compassionate individual of God.  Children are not born to discriminate, hate, or make fun of others; they learn from an example.

We have bullies because bullies are raising bullies.  Many adults don’t realize how much of their actions are really unknowingly being mimicked by a child.  The words you say, even when you think that no one else can hear you, are being heard.

As a human being, a child of God, we lead other by our examples.

Let’s be a positive leader expressioning only positive examples so others may follow.

By doing that than you are being the best person God wants you to be.

Are you willing to be a positive leader?


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